Instead of cherry-picking the success of classics with lazy remakes, perhaps it is time to whistle while working on a new script, Disney.

On March 21, audiences anticipated Disney’s live action remake of “Snow White”, which follows a semi-traditional plot, with a few alterations.

The story is simple: Snow White (Rachel Zegler) grows up fatherless, in a castle where she is made a servant by the Evil Queen (Gal Gadot). When the Evil Queen is told by the Magic Mirror (Patrick Page) that Snow White is the “fairest in the land”, her jealousy prompts her to send a Huntsman (Ansu Kabia) to kill Snow White. He offers mercy, and she finds solace in the home of the Seven Dwarves.

Marketed as a modern twist on Disney tradition, Snow White does not find a “prince charming”, but instead a scrappy Robin Hood of sorts, Jonathan (Andrew Burnap). The romance aspect of the film feels like a sloppy attempt at feminism – she still needs that true love’s kiss.

The film was both painfully lethargic and nauseatingly quick. It felt as though the filler scenes took more time than the plot-advancing ones, blame placed on both director Marc Webb and screenwriter Erin Cressida Wilson. 

Alongside a disappointing script, the film’s technical aspects lacked the magical potential Disney offers. Somehow, “Descendants” (2015) had better costume design than this multi-million dollar project; Gadot’s costume looked plucked from Party City, a creative choice almost as offensive Zegler’s Lord Farquaad inspired hairstyle.

With an undeniably charming vibrato and powerful belting power, Zegler’s vocals are almost – but not quite – enough to salvage this mess. The film’s soundtrack is cute, but cute doesn’t cut it. When the objective was to curate a modern and progressive remake, implementing computer-generated imagery rather than casting actors with dwarfism supasses any chance Disney had at audience approval.

It was as though the creative team asked artificial intelligence for a plot summary and hastily curated a film held together by amateur editing, awful costume design, and absurd decisions. It feels like Disney is running out of ideas, perhaps they should consult their Magic Mirror.